Each person I talked to today is dealing with stuff harder than my stuff. It is humbling. I hope my listening was helpful to them, because hearing their stories was helpful to me.
Tonight I went to the visitation for a former co-worker who lost her battle with cancer. I am very sad about lost opportunities to stay in touch. I am frustrated with myself because of continued failure to make the changes that I want to make. There is my inability to stay in touch with people I care about, there is my inability to establish routines for healthy eating, exercise, art making, and house cleaning. I wish I could maintain a healthy balance between my work life and the rest of my life. Children grow up so fast. There are projects I want to do. Life is so short. Every choice I make about how to spend my time means that I am not spending my time doing something else equally important.
This morning I was at the dentist. In the waiting room, instead of Sudoku puzzles, I made this picture
Monday was a day that I devoted to my health. I also needed to drive my daughter to and from a band event. Part of that process resulted in me waiting in the car for a while. Normally this would be sudoku puzzle time, but I have sworn off the sudoku as a time waster. I drew this instead.
I'm also learning to knit. Maybe it is part of my transformation into an old woman. I like it because it relaxes my brain like a sudoku puzzle, but when I am done I have something to show for my time. Drawing does not relax my brain, it stimulates it. Actually, there are different types of drawing so that statement is not always true.
Drawing realistically is, in my experience, like jogging. It is hard, but you just keep plugging away and it feels good when you are done. The more you do it the easier it gets. Painting abstractly is like going for a walk in a beautiful place. The whole process is enjoyable and there are often unexpected surprises.
